Well today is Monday March 3rd - my husband, Dan had open heart surgery almost one month ago - this is his 2nd open heart surgery - 12 years ago he had a 5 bypass and this time it was a 2 bypass. He is doing alright - today kinda quiet and reserved. Probably has a lot on his mind - he is looking to retire somewhere around 1st of May so these are decisions we did not intend to make this quickly. But today - I am praising God for his blessings - he was not going to get paid for his off time - which can send your budget in a tailspin - but his co-workers gave their vacation time and sick time to him and he will be covered for the full time of his leave - isnt that exciting! God moves those checkers in our favor all the time - he cares for us. I am so amazed at what he does for me - once again acknowledge him and he will direct your path - Praise the Lord!

Well today is New Years Eve - looking to 2012. I am home - safe and content - but worry about my family who are out. Wondering when does a Mother stop being a mother? My children are grown - self sufficient - good caring people - but I still worry about them. Does if ever stop? One of my New Years resolutions is "to put it in God's hands". I am going to try and keep of visual of those nail prints on his hands and know he went to the cross for me - and that he is willing to carry my worry - he is willing to handle my problems - he loves me. Even tho I am not worthy - he is still willing. I want to be a better person - work to get my husband and I in a better financial place - a better spirtitual place - and what better time to start than on a fresh 2012 lst day of the year! So tommorrow is a new day - and tomorrow dear Lord - its gona be you and me - I am going to lean on you for that worry. And realize I am so grateful that you forgave me - forgot all my past - and love me. Happy New Year!

Where have I been? Started the blog so long ago and somehow just forgot about it - then today home ill and went back to read the few I wrote & realize how good they made me feel - so I am starting again. Today's quote is "Do each day what you can live with the rest of your life" I will soon be 61 years old and there are things back in my life that I would not want anyone to know. Things that I would be embarrassed about. But, my little Dad, used to sing this song at church "Are you washed in the blood?" I was thinking about that today. Those things that would cause me embarrassment today HAVE been washed in the blood. They have been forgotten - a clean slate for today - my job for this moment is to live with what I have done today - try to be honest - trustworthy - a good friend - a good worker - a good wife - mother and just a good human being - but most of all be a thankful 61 year old woman - that those things have been washed by the blood!

PEACE

This last week I have been not feeling so good. Just kinda sluggish, tired and feel like I just can't fit in. You ever have days like that? I have lost sleep due to thinking about everything and anything. Seems like my peace has been stolen. I was reading one of my quote books & stumbled across this:

The Master said, "In the morning, hear the Way; in the evening, die
content!"

I realized my mornings had not been starting off like normal. Usually as I drive in the morning I start my talk with God. but last week, I was thinking about other things - my new postion - my home responsibilties - calling for doctor appts - planning dinner - etc. When I read this - I realized I did not start my day "hearing the way" talking with Him - asking for his direction on my day - so I lost my peace. We always hear about starting off the day with a good bowl of "Cheerios" or a large glass of milk - or something else that would feed our physical body but we really DO need to feed our spiritual body- So that is why I was feeling "just not right" So today - I am making a big effort to feed myself right - Cheerios and my prayers - Cause I dont want to lose my peace

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT PEOPLE CANNOT DO

I think it is amazing what prayer can do. I have a very close friend at work, Porscha. We became close probably about 3 years ago. She moved on our team & I was lucky she sat right behind me. For some reason, her & I just click. Now in Porscha's words - I am a middle aged white woman & she is a young black woman. But we have found a friendship. We talk about all types of subjects. I admire her because what I say she never repeats. She is who she is. Anyway - a few months ago we both were offered promotions to a new department. We knew there was a chance we would not sit together. During training we were told we would be on different teams. We both were disappointed. I was driving to work one morning - saying my morning prayers - when I just mentioned to God - could you please put her close to me - I told him how Porscha kinda covers for me when my memory just doesnt work. I didnt want us to drift apart. That very next day - the announcement was made for our positions and she is RIGHT BEHIND ME again. Now for my quote:

Jesus looked at them and said "There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything" Mark 10:27

I can understand praising God. He looks at each prayer. He pays attention. He is not just up in heaven driving around in a Mercedes - talking on a cell phone to some angel - planning the feast for the evening. HE PAYS ATTENTION!!!! I can see him now - stopping the celebration in Heaven - Wait a minute - Brenda is asking for something - stop - I need to help her. What a moment. I just want to say that on this Saturday morning - I have been up since about 630 - I just want to praise him for what he does for me. For listening to me - when I pray about my grandson Dylan - or my daughter Shawna - he has never let me down. Why??? because God can do anything - even move a young black girl to sit by a middle age white woman.

You go girl - the world awaits

Have you ever thought if you go just go back 20-30-40 years ago - how would your life be different. I have thought that before but lately I have decided I would not do anything different. Because if I do - I would not have experienced the joy that my life has brought. Sure there were times that things were not so good - marriage was not the greatest - job sucked - no money - but all of that brought me to where I am today. If I had changed things - maybe I wouldnt have the same family - maybe I wouldnt have had ANY family. Of course, maybe I would have married someone different and had lots of money!! But I am glad I am where I am at this very moment. Tonite - our granddaughter Stacey was offered and accepted scholorship at Hanover College. She has the world in front of her - a new frontier to conquer. She is not going to get a "do over" This starts her phase where she is going to be fully on her own - making decisions - trying new things - new challenges - I hope when she is at my age - she will say - I wouldnt have done anything different. So today - my quote is

You go girl - the world awaits.

First kindergarten - then college

MEMORIES

Tonite, my husband & I stopped by our daughters to visit awhile. Naturally she had her kids, dog, husband doing dishes, 2 friends of her children, and babysitting her little "Baby Drew" Pizza arrived - everyone was talking, Baby Drew bouncing up and down, dishes being washed. We all were looking over photos of our granddaughter, Stacey, who will be graduating this year from high school. When we left, kisses were given, hugs too. As we drove home, I realized this time next year, things will change. Stacey will probably be at college, her friend Kelsey will be gone too. So the laughter will die a little. But tonite - a memory was made. We will look back on those nights & I think - How lucky can one family be? Good health we have , not much wealth but we are warm, fed and happy. Laughter outweighs arguments. So tonite my saying is:

"Good memories are like charms - you collect them one by one, until one day you look back & discover they have made a very long colorful bracelet"

Tonite - my bracelet got a little longer.